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Wednesday 17 June 2009

Dont Have a Cow...


The Source.... I was recently reading an article from "Bluff" magazine where there was an article featuring this story. I read, watch and study alot of poker information everyday and find Bluff mag to be very useful for all sorts of stuff including daft stories like this one that can put a smile on your face.
The story isn't about Poker btw but does feature an element of it. The Bluff. Everyone loves a bluff and the feeling when it pays off. Here is an example of an eccentric "Life Bluff"
The Story.....
It all happened in Ireland back in the late seventies. These two lads, Gerry Fitz and Connor Grady, had taken a drive upto Dublin Mountains to chance their luck on a bit of rabbit shooting. The time time of the year was late spring and the hour was close to seven in the evening. Even with the stretch in the day the two boys knew they had little or no time to make a kill, but certain etiquette prevented an immediate slaughter. It was common courtesy for casual huntsmen to seek permission from the residing farmer for the right to relieve his land of resident rodents, (cute little bunnies my bollocks, they're just big rats thats what they are).
Anyway to make a long story painful it was decided Gerry would do the necessary while Connor waited in the motor. So the bold Gerry legged it across the field to the farmhouse and knocked on the door. A Worzel Gummage type answered and listened attentively to Gerry's request.
"No problem at all son" replied the man of the soil, "and when will you be wanting to do this shooting?"
"Eh, tonight if you wouldn't mind"
"So you have your guns with you now?"
"Yea we do" replied a slightly worried Gerry.
"Well you might be doing me a little favour then. You see I have this old mare in the barn and God bless her but she's at deaths door and it would be only humane to put her outta her misery - nineteen years old she is and worn out from giving birth to fourteen foals in her time. My dilemma is that the thieving bastard that calls himself a vet wants twenty pounds for what boils down to two minutes work and a (with a) small syringe. So I was thinking that seen as you have the guns with you and all......"
"No problem boss" said Gerry "Consider it sorted."
On the way back to the car Gerry decided that such an oportunity couldn't be passed up.
"So, how did it go?" asked Connor?
"The old fucker said no and then went on to give me a lecture about Dublin bastards like us thinking we owned the place and carrying on as if we could do what we wanted."
"I dont believe you", said an incredulous Connor.
"Give me the shotgun," said Gerry reaching into the car and grabbing the double barrel.
"Ah Jesus Gerry hold on there" pleaded Connor, "What are you thinking of doing?"
"Im going down to the old fuckers barn and I'm going to shoot his horse", said Gerry striding back across the field.
Despit constant calls for restraint by Connor the two heroes had soon enough find themselves face to face with the decrepit old mare.
Without hesitation Gerry shouldered the twelve-gauge and wasted the animal. An eerie silence followed before Gerry turned and handed the gun to Connor with the words "That'll teach him!"
"D'ye know what" said Connor, "Your Fucking right, he shouldn't be allowed away with it."
And with that he turned the gun on a nearby COW and BLEW ITS HEAD OFF!

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